


Be With Me

by Zrofyre



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Ben Solo Deserved Better, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, F/M, Force ghost jedi biddies, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Post-TRoS, Redeemed Ben Solo, Rey ain't taking this BS, SPOILERS for TROS, Should be the rise of ben solo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-21
Updated: 2019-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:48:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21882553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zrofyre/pseuds/Zrofyre
Summary: Post The Rise of Skywalker fic.Summary in the authors notes.Do not read if you don't want some spoilers.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 2
Kudos: 36
Collections: TROS Reylo Fix-it Fics





	Be With Me

**Author's Note:**

> This is a Post-TROS fic. Do not read if you do not want spoilers.
> 
> Seriously.
> 
> Also - this is unedited and un-beta'd - I just had to get it out there.
> 
> Also - some possible suicidal ideation possibly. It's not distinct but it's there.
> 
> Summary - Rey at the moment she realizes what's happening with Ben. And one of MANY ways I wish it could have gone instead.
> 
> Finally - don't @ me and don't debate the movie in the comments. If comments are disruptive or an issue I reserve the right and am letting you know NOW that I will delete them.

The panic slammed into her as a crushing weight freezing her breath and stuttering her heart. The imminent arrival of searing pain from her torn asunder soul froze all thoughts, preventing any consideration of the surrounding war.

Her thoughts were consumed with nothing but Ben. Her Ben had come to her! He had accepted himself and that he was worthy.

And he was gone. 

The faintest pressure still existed across her shoulders and her abdomen where he'd held her. She could feel the impression of each finger as ghosts upon her memory.

Her thoughts flashed back to that first moment when their minds had connected. Her entire world had tilted on its axis. 

\------------- 

That first instant, the moment when their minds had bonded, her sense of self - her identity and presence, her soul - suddenly felt too full. A drowning sensation suffocated any rational thought and left only panic. When you've been half alive for so long the sudden sensation of fullness leaves one overwhelmed. Like a glutton at water after thirsting in the desert she felt as if there was too much in her. Like she was going to be sick, that she couldn't contain it all and it would tear her apart 

Over the years as their selves settled in against each other and balanced out they filled each other's cracks and crevices, shoring up weak spots. There was no more natural feeling then the culmination of everything she was meant to be. Feeling Ben's mind along hers and that connection that grew in leaps and bounds - from just the sensation of each other to thoughts then words and finally that they could actually physically connect.

That no matter where she was she was never alone again.

\---------------- 

She hurt all over, a pounding, driving rhythm that echoed her frantic pulse. Her skin burned and fizzled as each nerve gained coherence after resurrection. Vision whiting then blackening, sound coming in fits and starts as a complete system reset didn't want to boot up properly.

Clutching Ben's body, her right hand grasping into flesh as if she could hold him past what she suspected was coming. The agony would end her. She wouldn't WANT to continue even if it didn't.

"Be with me."

Grasping his chest tight enough to feel each rib pressing back to her.

"Be with me."

The words clawing out of her throat. She had no other sounds except . . . 

"BEN!"

Hot trails crept down her face. She felt as if they were burning her skin so she would display her heartbreak forever.

"BE WITH ME!"

"BEN!"

Her left fingers wound themselves into his hair, cupping his jaw as the faintest touch of his earlobe brushed the digits.

Looking up as if to deny the sight of him so still when he'd just been freed to experience . . . EVERYTHING. The energy and joy and fierceness of his fluidity - as if life and the Force flowed through him as a cresting river. He wasn't meant to be so still.

"Ben."

"Be with me."

"Be with me."

"Be with me."

Sudden piercing rage flooded her. She didn't fear this. This was a natural born wave. Her DYAD was dead!

"BE WITH ME BE WITH ME BE WITH ME AAARAGH!" Her voice rose in shrieking crescendos and guttural growls as she vented her pain to the sky. 

As if the afterimage of that horror of lightning was permanently embedded on her eyes, streaks of light still filled the heavens.

Wait.

The war was still going on.

Fuck.

Fuck the war.

There was no coming back from this.

"RRRAAAAAAAAGH BE WITH ME!"

She channeled what little energy was left in her, demanding an answer.

Their voices crashed into her, a cacophony of noise that did nothing but bring agony.

"DID I NOT GIVE YOU ENOUGH?! DID HE NOT SUFFER ENOUGH?!"

"We cannot change this young Rey. This is the will of the Force."

"I have leapt through EVERY GODSDAMNED hoop you have put in front of me. I have followed your edicts and done all the performing you could wish. YOU ABANDONED HIM TO SNO- PALPATINE! You abandoned him. To Palpatine. You left him to suffer - knowing this was YOUR failure - to guide and support and PROTECT! You left my DYAD - to scared to reach for help anymore, to neglected to even hope for it."

Silence. Silence with teeth that gnawed on your bones, cracking and reaching marrow.

"We did. We failed Ben Solo. We created Kylo Ren. But dear Rey - this happening cannot be altered. Even now we can feel the winds coming for his corporeal form. At least say your goodbyes while the moment is here."

Leaning her head against his breastbone, fingertips numb where they still dug into each intercostal space, wanting to claw the strands of hair from his head and scratch his cells under her nails so he COULD NEVER FULLY LEAVE HER she realized that there was no living without him.

"Be with me. Be with me. Be with me. Be with me. Be with me. Be with me."

She started to drive all her will and all her pain, her rage, her fear and happiness and hope, her joy and elation - she drove every last bit that was herself out into that Force that she could always reach.

The Force had destined them, had created them each for the other. She pushed every last bit of herself out into the Force - for if that's where her Ben was then she too would be there.

"Rey, dearest, please this isn't the way." It was cruel of them to offer Leia's voice and presence. The only maternal feeling she knew was a taut temptation.

Blocking her ears to that siren call of love, she willed all the harder. She purportedly has the strongest abilities buried in her, damned if she'd waste them now. 

A burgeoning lightness filled what was left of her. She felt so empty without her Ben. The cracked and ragged pieces that he had filled burned with a cold ache, frost filling her broken soul. 

The lightness pushed back. Fought against her as if saying no. When her hearing focused in and around she could make out many voices yelling and cursing. As if those Force Ghost Jedi biddies could do anything but nag. She could hear her own tones repeating with full intention "Be with me." Whispering in the faintest breath of air into his sternum, as if she could call him back.

"Be with me."

"Be with me."

"Be with me."

The air had left her lungs so long ago. The pain of her emptiness was gone to dust, trapped in her paper-thin skin. She imagined it would glow with a painful brightness as her parchment self shattered like glass - rays of sorrow piercing through.

Only in her head now.

Be with me.

Be with me.

Be with me.

Cramping muscles and screaming joints - her form crumpled over his, legs splayed in twisted angles, spine hunched as if to drive her very conciousness into his heart. The rapid reconnection with her physical body startled a knowledge that she'd crossed some line for a molecular moment of time. That she'd become so imbued with the Force she may as well have been a nagging Jedi biddie.

The thud of her self into . . . Well, herself. The sudden tactile feedback started the panic all over again. Her zen drive yanked out like a rug - the panic and fear began to drown her. She couldn't do this without

"Ben!"

Leia did not get to be the first to know.

The chest under Rey's crown shuddered. She knew that scraping awakening. The electrifying sizzle of senses returning and nerves shrieking to catch up.

Draping her haggard body over him, blanketing his form with her diminutive one, she scrambled for her lost zen. She needed it for her Ben.

Be with me.

Be with me.

Be with me.

Maintaining a smooth and even repetition, letting his awakening mind know she was there . . . She didn't feel him. She didn't feel him!

"Ben! Ben where are you?! Ben I can't feel you! Ben!" The silence screamed in her head, echoing and reverberating, telling the final thread that would snap her stability. A rope bridge dropping from under your feet. 

His quivering hand grazed up her thigh, left palm landing at the small of her back. Forehead tucked between his jaw and collarbone she waited only for the faintest signal. 

"Rey." His only word brushed her hair with the lightest of air. But though their words may have been few vocally, in the haven of their minds and their bond she knew every intonation he uttered.

Clamping onto that invitation she heard she eased her head back, she couldn't do this, start this, without facing him fully. She needed to see his eyes. His beautiful caramel eyes searching for her own sight line, locking in and filling with an unspoken happiness shed she'd only dreamed to see. 

Reaching out with delicate tendrils she offered him all of her. Her mind was open and she held out her mental hand inviting him in. Desperation might flicker over her eyes but he knew - she was alone without him. She couldn't be without him. He couldn't leave her alone. 

As he stumbled his weary way into her consciousness, the bond snapped back into its rightful place. His elation swept her under and she sent back all her love, every iota of her dedication to him, the completeness she felt with only him. 

His right hand rose from the dust where it had been lying limply, folding up to tangle with her fingers that refused to leave his tresses. 

Holding hands and minds, she wiggled up to rest her lips on his. She was home. He was home.


End file.
